3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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