I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
