make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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