We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
