This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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