A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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