I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
