officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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