He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
