it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
