In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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