One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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