You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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