HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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