If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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