I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
