FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
