If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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