At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
