Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
