I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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