using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
