i was born a porn star she said
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
