she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
