made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
