mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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