I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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