Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
