Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
