I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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