i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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