we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
