i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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