So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
