You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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