I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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