how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
