I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Mom said you looked used
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
