I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
