everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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