Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize