I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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