are you so shy because you have an std?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
