I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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