There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This is the high leading the old right now
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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