I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
