You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
