At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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