i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
