He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
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She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We need to get me chipped asap
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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