I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize