Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
