Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
