I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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