Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
