Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
