Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
