now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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