I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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