So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
