hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
