no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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