just tell him i said nine months
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
